Everybody Hates Rigby!
by RegularShowFan1592
Summary: Hey dudes! I'm bored so I made this quick oneshot featuring everyone's favorite raccoon to punch: Rigby! Rated T for cursing and lots of punching.


Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm bored right now, so I thought I'd make a quick oneshot with Rigby. I'm also showing off my more descriptive writing skills a little. Enjoy! Oh and please check out my other story: **A Not-So-Regular Time**! :D

Mordecai woke up, smashing his alarm button down with a fist. He felt groggy and annoyed for some reason. He stretched and cracked his neck then stood up, almost tripping over the pile of discarded candy wrappers Rigby had left out the night before. It was the same old routine, but Mordecai felt kind of pissed off this morning, so his patience was already thin. He walked over to the bathroom and came back out, trudging over to Rigby's trampoline.

"Dude, wake up."

He then nudged Rigby's body.

"Dude. Come on, get up."

"Dude, I swear to freaking God if you don't get up in the next five seconds..." he said gritting his teeth.

Mordecai decided to kick Rigby's trampoline over, making the raccoon fall onto his face and scream.

"AHHHHH! DUDE, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Rigby shouted in pain.

"Oh sorry, didn't see you there on my way back from the bathroom man." Mordecai said rolling his eyes.

"It's ok bro. So what do you want?" Rigby asked, rubbing his eyes.

"I need you to pick up these wrappers dude. What did Benson tell you about cleaning up after yourself?" he asked folding his arms.

"Oh yeah I had a major sugar rush man! Wasn't that fun?!" Rigby shouted, apparently showing all the sugar wasn't out of his system.

Mordecai slapped his forehead and replied, "Dude, really? You're missing the damn point."

"And that would be...?" Rigby asked, moving his face towards Mordecai.

"STOP BEING SO DAMN LAZY AND CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT! I MEAN, 90% OF THE SHIT THAT HAPPENS TO US IS YOUR FAULT! MAYBE IF YOU HAD A BRAIN AND COMMON SENSE, NOTHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN AND YOU WOULDN'T BE THREATENED TO LOSE YOUR JOB 24/7!" he finished.

Rigby got on his knees, grabbing Mordecai's legs and cried, "Dude, I'm sorry! It's just so hard to do anything here! Can you forgive me?"

"NO DUDE! I'M DONE! YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING OUTSIDE TO MAKE AN ANNOUCEMENT!" he shouted.

Mordecai walked outside, taking a megaphone with him that was sitting on the steps outside from a recent park event and turned it on. He looked back at the park house, shouting his announcement.

"ATTENTION ALL PARK WORKERS! WOULD YOU PLEASE COME OUT TO THE STEPS AS I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUCNMENT THAT I'M SURE YOU'LL ALL ENJOY!" he finished.

Everyone walked out, wondering what was going on.

Mordecai pointed at Rigby.

"Rigby, would you come down to bottom of the steps please?" he asked.

Rigby nervously walked down, shaking in his spot in front of everyone.

"Wh-wh-what is the announcement dude?" Rigby whispered to Mordecai.

"Don't worry, it's something we'll all enjoy..." he said holding back a laugh.

"Ok what's the big deal Mordecai? You interrupted my weight lifting session." said Skips.

"Yeah, what do you want bro?" asked Muscle Man.

"Ok guys...oh, hey dude can you stand right in front of me and face everyone?" Mordecai asked Rigby.

"Sure..." Rigby said, scared of what was going to happen.

"Guys, here is the big news:" he took a deep breath and picked up the megaphone, turning it to full blast.

"TODAY IS OFFICALLY 'RIGBY IS JINXED ALL DAY-" he put the megaphone down before thinking, "um...DAY'!"

"WHAT?!" cried Rigby on the ground.

Rigby was too stunned by the sound of the megaphone to run, so Mordecai started punching him.

"Wait, wait, wait. Why don't we make it a week instead?" suggested Benson, grinning evilly.

"Oh I say, that's a jolly good idea Benson!" squealed Pops.

"I'm up for it bro!" cheered Muscle Man.

"Yeah sure!" said Skips shrugging.

Everyone came down the stairs, punching Rigby when they could. They took turns, so if someone became tired, someone else would take over punching duties.

So, for an entire week, Rigby was punched into oblivion and died after crawling into a dumpster and everyone lived happily ever after because no one had to hear his whiny voice again!

The End. :P


End file.
